More thoughts from the Master of the Dark Coven, a.k.a. Ministry of Undead Persons

My husband just walked by my office to ask, “What are you laughing at?”

This, dear friends. I’m laughing at this because ~~BFF Ilona Andrews~~ Dromichaetes of Dacia, Master of the Dark Coven and official spokesperson for the Ministry of Undead Persons, has sent me more of his thoughts on SHADES OF WICKED, the first Night Rebel book, more commonly referred to as “OMG, Ian finally has a book coming out?!”

Here is ~~Ilona’s~~ Dromichaetes’s latest message, copied directly from my inbox. If you haven’t read his previous correspondences, including a Cease & Desist letter and my reply to it, they’re detailed HERE. Now, to his latest, with my thoughts bracketed and in red font for easier delineation. For context, it seems that Dromichaetes has just read the chapter where Veritas is confronted by Cat, Bones, Mencheres and Spade as to their opinions on her new relationship with Ian.

Master of Dark Coven <fangmaster4unlife@gmail.com

Today at 11:59 AM

To Jeaniene of the Frosts,

When your prospective mate’s so-called friends raise doubts about your suitability as an unlife partner, there is a simple and practical way to resolve that disagreement. You rip out their throat. You see, one cannot voice an opinion without one’s vocal cords. [Jeaniene’s thoughts: This seems to check out.]

Should they regenerate and fail to understand the point you are communicating, simply repeat the process several times until they resolve to forever hold their peace. [Jeaniene’s thoughts: Have you ever dealt with family, Dromichaetes? IF ONLY it were that easy!] Having one’s vocal cords removed is unpleasant and regeneration requires a lot of energy. [Jeaniene’s thoughts: Okay, that’s probably true, but I still don’t think it’s enough to shut certain family members up.] No need to thank me. [Jeaniene’s thoughts: Oh, Dromeo, thanking you was the last thing on my mind, heh.]

PS. That demon said what to her? Does he know who she is?! [Jeaniene’s thoughts: I know, right?! Demons have NO sense of tact. Wait until you see what Veritas does to him at the end of the book, though. It’ll make even a creature such as yourself wince.]

PPS. Your minions have been sending me email. [Jeaniene’s thoughts: Ha ha ha ha ha!] I feel compelled to let you know that every human in communication with me is considered as a potential food source. [Jeaniene’s thoughts: Now, Dromichaetes, you know the rule about eating too many humans – a minute on the lips equals a lifetime on the hips. Practice moderation and eat your humans responsibly.]

—

Dromichaetes of Dacia

Master of the Dark Coven

[Jeaniene’s thoughts: Your letters make my day!]

Comments

Roseann says

October 16, 2018 at 8:44 pm

ROFLMAO!

Love the commentary.. Is Dromeo ur, um Dromichaetes on Red Dragon or something? Is he not aware of who exactly is in Ian’s family? Oh! I know! I suggest that the Mater of the Dark Coven be the one to attempt to rip out the throat of someone in Ian’s family. I think he should pick Ian’s sire. And then let the rest of us know precisely, and with detail, how well that works out for him. *insert evil snicker here

Man, talk about wanting a ticket and some popcorn.

Have a good one!
Roseann

Kathy Valentine says

October 24, 2018 at 5:27 pm

Love this!! So friggin funny!!

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