Note: This post has nothing to do with my books, appearances, or professional updates. Skip if you’re only looking for business news.
Around this time four years ago,I blogged about how I went to the Emergency Room with severe chest pain that I thought was a heart attack. EKGs eventually showed that it wasn’t, but then I had to undergo tests and wait a few hours to find out if it was a pulmonary embolism instead. It wasn’t, and although I was incorrectly diagnosed with pleurisy, I later found out that I had suffered an acute case of costochondritis. Thankfully, that wasn’t a life-threatening or debilitating condition, but I will never forget those hours when I didn’t know.
Every once in a while, something will happen that cuts through the camouflage of my busy life to remind me what really matters. Now, subtlety goes right over my head, so I’m not surprised that it took something drastic like thinking I was having a heart attack or a pulmonary embolism to cut through my camouflage. As I waited that night to find out if I had something that could kill me on the spot, I wasn’t worried about any of the anxieties that normally eat up my day. In fact, I was focused on only three things: I wanted more time with my husband, I wanted more time with my family and loved ones, and I needed my faith. Most days, I merely lean on my faith. Some days, I collapse onto it. That was definitely one of those days. When everything else was stripped away and I felt like my next breath was a “maybe” instead of a definite, I had nothing except my faith, and I thank God that it was enough. Not because of me, since I am as flawed a believer as you can find, but it was enough because of Him.
Yes, I still get distracted, worried, and preoccupied by things that, in the grand scheme of things, aren’t really important, but I wanted to pause now and once again give thanks. Why in public, on my blog? I can’t remember when I first read it, but a little section of Luke has always stuck with me. In it, ten lepers ask Jesus to be healed. All ten had their request granted, but while nine ran off, one turned around, went back to Jesus, and thanked him. It seemed like such an obvious thing to do, but the other nine didn’t bother, and when I thought about it, I was reminded of all the times I’ve wanted something enough to pray for it, yet if I did get it, how I would often overlook taking the time to express my gratitude. So, approaching the four year anniversary of that day in the ER, this is me turning around, going back to that memory, and again saying thank you. I am more grateful than I can express to still be here to do it, so it sharing the story of my gratitude is also the least that I can do :).
It’s also good to be reminded to count our blessings and be thankful for them.
I implore you to please take care of yourself. Honestly…
You health is your wealth…😡
Thank you. I should have added in the post that I’m completely fine now.
Sorry typo in the emoji. It was suppose to be a sad face..
Thank you for the reminder, Jeaniene. A lot of your thoughts really hit home.
Thank you…..I am trying to learn to approach each day with an attitude of gratitude! It is often in moments of fear or sadness that I am reminded how many blessings I have right now in my life….so many that are taken for granted. Your blog entry is very special and and I am glad you are well now !
God Bless you! I too am so flawed and you have made me think have i been like the 9 who walked away and never thanked Jesus?. Thank you for this post!!
I’m sure it seems presumptuous (and gets tiresome) when fans respond to you as though they believe they know you personally. I would not make such a claim, but I am grateful to have found not just your books but the parts of your life that you choose to share here, because it does make me feel as though we are at least somewhat similar in spirit.
In February of 2012, I woke one morning with what felt like the world’s worst and most persistent charlie horse in my left calf. I expected it to go away – they always do, right? And I was a healthy, active 39 year old mother of five between the ages of 18 months and 18 years, plus two stepsons.
A week later when it had not abated at all, my husband shoved me into our minivan with orders not to come back until I’d had it checked by the ER. He saved my life that night. I had an extremely extensive DVT that had broken off to become a serious bilateral PE as well. I’d also had pleurisy in 2000, but that was relatively easily remedied. This situation was a weeks hospital stay while they tried frantically to get my clots reduced and circulation restored, then turned into Post Thrombotic Syndrome which I still suffer from.
It’s been a long, hard road in every way imaginable. The effect on my marriage, my relationships with my children, my drastically reduced activity level, the loss of income from my home based business… It seemed there was no area that it didn’t affect.
The one area I refused to allow to be affected was my faith. Yes, this has been hard, and it’s going to be for a long time, if not the rest of my life. But considering the odds when it comes to PEs, I am simply thankful that I HAVE a “rest of my life.”
It IS difficult some days to remind myself to say thank you to God for all my amazing blessings, rather than get bogged down in self pity. I persevere because I want more than anything to have been worthy of this grace.
So, here is a fellow flawed believer, standing metaphorically next to you and raising my hands and heart in thanks for the many blessings I have been given and the learning experiences that I needed to experience.
So glad that your husband made you go to the ER that day! Thank you for sharing your story. Sending you a big cyber-hug!
I haven’t been on your website in a while so when I read this I knew exactly what you were going through. I’m 29 with three small children and I went to the emergency room thinking I was having a heart attack. I went through several test for them to say it was costochondritis. It’s incredibly scary and while you wait for the results you think about things in a while new light. I’m so glad everything work out well for you.
I am grateful you and other authors that are so upfront with your faith. I have so many friends that question being able to enjoy your genre of books and their faith. It is encouraging to see women of faith writing what I enjoy reading.