Hope everyone had a great holiday! As stated in the subject line, I decided not to do any resolutions for 2012. Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean I’m taking the year off. I still have deadlines, appearances, and plenty of other things to keep me busy, but I want to reset how I go about approaching those.
Take losing weight. One of my hopes is to shave off some of the extra jiggle that found its way onto me, and I’ll do it by eating healthier and moving around more (my couch and I spent a lot of the holidays together, heh). But I’m not going to berate myself during this process, and here’s why. Through middle school and high school, I was bulimic. (Side note: Bulimia is a great way to ruin your health and slow your metabolism. It is, however, a lousy way to actually lose weight, as I learned while in rehab for it). Treatment got me over the binging-and-purging aspect of my eating disorder, but I still had a lot of the mentality. In essence, I continually thought I’d be happier if I was a size smaller. Didn’t matter if I reached that goal size, either. Then the next smaller size was the real doorway to happiness. So no matter what size I was, the nirvana of body image contentment was always out of reach.
It took all of my twenties and a good amount of my thirties to get over this mentality. Now my self-esteem isn’t held hostage to a number on a clothing label. I’ve learned think in terms of healthy or unhealthy regarding my weight, and I’ve also learned not to despise myself if I drift into the latter. Instead, I try to work back toward the former with mental encouragement instead of angry inner berating, which was what I used to do when the scale would slide up instead of down.
I’m slowly learning that same lesson with writing, by the way. When I started out, all I wanted to do was finish a book. That, I was convinced, would be enough for me. And when it happened, it was great, but as soon as I typed “the end” I realized the inner validation I’d been looking for wasn’t there. I thought I’d find it by having a professional tell me it was a good book, so signing with an agent became my new quest. Countless revisions and queries later, I did. Then I thought it would be enough if the book sold. When that happened, I told myself what would really make me feel secure was if the book did okay. After it hit the extended bestseller lists, I was thrilled, but right behind that was doubt. Maybe my first book was just a fluke. Okay, if the second one did well, then I’d finally feel secure about my writing…
I don’t think I need to go on for you to see the trend. Years later, I’m awed and humbled by what’s happened with my career, but self-doubt is still only a mood swing away. I’m beginning to realize it always will be, no matter if my future books do even better than my previous ones. Just like with clothing size, I’d thought there was a publishing milestone that would ease my insecurities if I could only reach it, but it doesn’t exist. Instead, the real trick is learning to be satisfied with how things are instead of seeking what’s eternally around the corner. Emotionally speaking, that’s the same as chasing my tail, and everyone knows that if you spin around in circles long enough, you won’t like how you feel.
That’s why no resolutions for me this year. I have the tendency to turn those into barricades that hinder me from truly being happy today, and since today is how each of us live our lives (until someone invents a time machine that can transport us into the future!) today is all I have. So instead of resolutions, I have hopes for 2012. I hope I’ll write good books that people will enjoy. I hope I’ll be a better wife, family member, and friend. I hope I’ll get back to a healthier way of eating and exercising. I hope I’ll get angry less and learn to forgive more, and in the meantime, I hope I’ll be able to enjoy today. I hope that you’ll be able to enjoy it, too :).
So true, J. So true. Thanks for sharing your wisdom. xoxo
Definitely enjoy today and revel in the fact that so many people are happier because of your wonderful books! Including me 🙂
I couldn’t agree more with your decision to not make resolutions for 2012. My hubby and I did the exact same thing, and so far, it’s been our best start of a new year. Thanks for sharing this personal blog and I’m so thrilled you’ve found a way to be happy with yourself—just the way you are. And though it’s impossible to write books that will appeal to every single person out there, you must know by now what a truly amazing author you are. Please don’t ever stop. xoxo.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It helps a lot to see myself in a different light and realize that maybe today it”s all we have for sure. Maybe there will be no tomorow…
Hope of the most powerful forces, I hope for you all the success in the world 🙂
Thanks !!!
Happpy New Year for you and you family 🙂
Excellent post. I’m very happy that you shared your story. I’ve never had an eating disorder but my family accused me of it several years ago when I changed my eating habits and made extreme exercise a part of my life. I did this to be healthy. I wish you great success. You are a wonderful inspiration :).
*holds up champagne glass* Hear Hear!!!! hoping is a great motivator! hoping you have a great 2012 xoxoxo
Thank you for sharing this you are an inspiration and you are an amazing writer I and so happy to be a Frost Fan I hope your 2012 is everything that you hope it will be! I feel the same about diet I am working hard to eat better but its not a resolution its a journey.
I love what you have done and what you feel I think that it is an awesome way to think and I wish you good hopes in the the new year and that your books are awesome
You give us all hope. Thanks for sharing!
Very good wisdom indeed, thank you for sharing your story! I have a new motto for myself as well; life is short, enjoy every little bit while harboring no regrets. =0)
BTW: you are a fabulous author, I love each and every one of your stories!
I’ve always found resolutions to be a bit clunky and ungainly. Instead, Husband & I have a good think about the things we want to achieve from the year and we “christen” it with a “personality”. For example one year we had the Year Of Health And Laughter and another was the Year Of Hard Work & Acheiving Goals. It keeps you on track without setting yourself up to fail. We’ve been doing this for about 15 years now. It’s fun and it seems to work for us.
wow!!1 i hope you keep this mentality you sound happier now and that what really matter and i can wait to gegt my hand on your future books
I too am always moving the goalposts, but for the past few years my reolution has simply been to get better at being happy. I find it gets easier with practice. Just letting go of everything else and taking pleasure in reading a good book, such as one of yours, is so important – thank you for your series; it makes me happy!
That is AWESOME!! I am so glad that you have come to this realization! It truly is a wonderful feeling when you realize that life doesn’t HAVE to be a constant emotional battle, especially when the battle is within in yourself. I am glad to hear all of this and I look forward to hearing more! ;D
Continue to make us dream! That’s my only wish for 2012!It’s such a pleasure to read your books!
I’m sorry.. but you’re actually perfect to me. You’re the most amazing person… ever. Just, this post and your books… AMAZING. Perfect ;]
I have to say that I love the Night Huntress series, you give so much in all of them. I have laughed, cried, and even gotten very mad while reading this series. It is amazing the emotions that you put in your writing. And then there are battles, romance, passion, and so much more. You are one of the best authors I have had the pleasure of reading. Keep up the great writing Jeaniene!!
Teresa
tess102063@yahoo.com
So true, Jeaniene!! Hopes for this year are so much better than resolutions!
Very inspiring post 🙂
I have to tell you,i just started reading the Night huntress novels and wound up buting them ALL!!!And what is really funny is my nickname is Cat and my hubby’s is Bones!!!And on top of it…..i have red hair….ALL NATURAL!!! and my hubby is well build,tall,dark and handsome!!!Also im OBSESSED with VAMPIRES!!!I would die to be one for real:)Im curvy on top of it and have my own NATURAL allure!!And the character Cat looks a lot like you!!!I have dreams about vampires ALL the time!!!Some romantic some nightmares.I am gonna write my own vampire novel soon!!I’ve been inspired.Hopefully it will be a big hit!!!!Just had to share my coinscidences with you.I just thought it was funny.Do you have a fan club???If so,please e-mail me how to join.Thanks:)
Good look!! and a lot of encouragement for your poposes!!. I can tell you from here (Spain) that we ¡¡LOVE!! your books, even if can’t find them translated, we buy them and read them in english as many times as we need to undestand everything, jeje… it’s a pity that the publishers of Spain only translated your first book.. but we don’t lose hope.
As said, good look!! you are one of the best!!!.
Saludos!!
YOUR AMAZING! I HOPE YOU WILL ALWAYS KNOW THAT!
YOUR AMAZING! I HOPE YOU WILL ALWAYS KNOW THAT! <3
Dear Jeaniene)
It was so nice to see that your are not just a wonderful author, but the REAL person with your own ‘cockroaches in your head’ (our Russian expression 😉 – and I appreciate you to share us with your ideas of life for 2012. In fact, you made me thinking deep about almost the same things in my life. Suddenly I recognize that in my own work I almost lost this happiness of creating – I’ve been keeping on commercialization too much. Huh…
But now – with your help – I hope to get my joy back))) So Thank you very much!
Wish you to enjoy your life vocation since now and for long-long happy years! (I’ll hope to do the same – thank God we’re not accountants ;-)))
Best regards
Elena