As many of you know, I am friends with author Ilona Andrews, best known for her Kate Daniels series. Recently, the blog site Vampire Book Club started an Alpha Showdown contest pitting book characters against each other. We’re in the semifinals now, and Ilona and I have two characters left: Bones and Kate. Bones is facing elimination in his round, and Ilona isn’t hopeful about her chances against Barrons.
This isn’t a post to beg for votes, in case that’s what you were thinking :). It’s a post to show how author friends do silly things to amuse themselves. Below I give you a snippet of the conversation that Ilona and I wrote, showing (very tongue-in-cheek) what Bones and Kate might said had they faced each other in the final championship round.
Our opponents:
Let the self-deprecating smacktalk begin!
Bones: I will beat you because am tough but inwardly vulnerable since I spent the last two hundred years whoring and killing to fill the emptiness inside.
Kate: I am tough but inwardly vulnerable, too! And I will kick your ass because I was born with a secret power that made me a loner, and don’t even get me started on my pent-up rage over my daddy issues.
Bones: Secret powers and daddy issues don’t scare me. You just described my wife.
Kate: Dude, I make spikes out of my blood. Also I have a magic sword that eats vampire flesh.
Bones: So do I, and it’s in my pants. Haven’t you heard about Chapter 32?
Kate: What’s Chapter 32?
Bones: Ask Curran to show you.
Kate: What does any of this have to do with us fighting to the death?
Bones: It means I can launch a sneak attack from the front OR back!
Kate: Oh, you want cheesy word play? Fine, I will defeat you with my overused phrases. Why me, dear God, slabbed with muscle, Your Furriness, aha.
Bones: Bollocks, bloody hell, luv, pet–
Kate: — You forgot Kitten.
Bones: –thrust deep, thrust deep, thrust deep —
Kate: More Chapter 32 again?
Bones: No, I have to do this in every book. Seems I shag as though I’m drilling for crude oil.
*grin* And this is why Ilona and I write novels instead of comic books. Happy Sunday, everyone!
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This is too funny! I personally love both series and it would be a tough battle!
And I can’t believe Bone’s told Kate to have Curran show her all about chapter 32! LMAO!
That was tooooo funny. I loved it. Please do again sometime. I haven’t read Ilona’s series But will Def try it out. Good luck to Bones and Kate in the showdown!
I love it! ! ! !
OMG, that was hilarious! ‘thrust deep’ LoL Loved it!
CHAPTER 32!!!
It´s so funny, I can´t stop laughing!
I love it!
Chapter 32, getting grateful husbands, boyfriends, consorts and one night stands laid since first published.
Right up there with that telephone conversation Bones once had with Kitten’s mother.
Crude oil? LOL
OMG!! I love this!!!
And this is why you are one of my favorite authors!!
OMFG! ROFLMAO! LMAO! *choking*… you guys are great! I love y’all.. and your characters…
Oh, GOD! that was funny. My stomach hurt…. I love the wife hit, I mean really??? lol.
Priceless! Thanks for that little gem. You two write my two favorite series. I think Kat and Bones should visit Kate and Curran in Atlanta someday.
ROFLMAO !!! Drill luv, drill all you want 😉
You guys are awesome, you should consider teaming up to write something, It would rock out loud !!!
That was to funny!! LOL Man,I love Bones! Great character Jeaniene!U R THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for the laugh! Love Bones to death!
LOL I love it! That was hilarious!!
This is so funny. I can actually picture Kate and Bones saying this. Thanks you two for some great books and great characters.
This is so great, LOL! I must share!
I love that my two number one writers are friends!!! y’all are just a hoot -n- holler!
ROTFLMAO! That was so freaking hilarious! A magic sword in Bones pants! OMG you are amazing Jeaniene! Thank you for the laughter! 😀
Oh, this was great!!!! You two should get together and write a book!! Loved it…. You just described my wife! Hahaha.
OMG, I was laughing so hard! Priceless!
OMG!! That was freaking awesome! Thanks for the laugh!
LOL! That was fantastic, particularly Bones suggesting Kate have Curran explain Chapter 32.
Admittedly, I’m the instigator of Alpha Showdown (it’s my blog) and I’m supposed to be impartial, but I’ve got my fingers crossed to see Bones in the final.
He’s close. So, let’s all keep our fingers crossed.
You guys should totally write a novella with a meeting between the characters! I love both of your series and to have them in the same story would be amazing!
Oh the hilarioty. I would love for those two characters to meet!
That was brilliant! Thanks for the hysterics!
Now this was funny! It’s also why I love you, Ilona and Gordon <rotflmao)
You two crack me up. I remember thinking authors were all wise, and serious about their craft. It intimidated me. Then I started following your blogs. *snort*
hysterical u guys are a mess but I love it
Oh Jeaniene please beg for votes or bribe people with snippets, I can’t believe Bones is losing to Jace, and I like Jace, but that is just wrong! Like Curran losing to Barrons, I love Barrons but come on, not over Curran.
Forgot, this make me laugh so hard, that I cried 😀
“Bones: Secret powers and daddy issues don’t scare me. You just described my wife.”
Loved it!!!
That was down right hilarious if you ask me and the fact that chapter 32 was mentioned was enough to bring tears to my eyes and caused pains in my stomach from laughing so hard. You rock J. Frost!
*snort* Chapter 32! Maaan would love to see the tweets between Kate & Curran after this! Lmaooooo
as soon as i read this i was cracking up! this is so funny and i love it, ive never read the other book but now im gonna have to dont i? haha Thanks both of you amazing authors
ROFL! 🙂 You two are so awesome! Thanks for the laugh.
Lol! That was fantastic! Thank you!
Ah Ah Ah ! They’re so funny ! Don’t know Kate and Curran, but I’ll read their story very quickly. I love Bones anyway. And I know someone else who could compete with Bones, it’s Barrons (SHADOWFEVER by Karen Marie Moning), I’d like to read a discussion between them. I think that it would be exciting.
Well, sorry for my poor english, I’m french !
I can see why you are friends! Snorted my tea at “so do I, it’s in my pants” 😀
God, what have I laughed. :-)I love such dialogues. Please more of it. I have read both series, a decision will be damn hard.
Lol! That is too funny!
Fantastic fun, Thank You ! Any thoughts and combining your skills with them for a fun short in the future ?
That was fun to read,and it put a smile on my face.
Oh, I am sooo heading over to Vampire Book Club, that was really funny. Bones will always get my vote. 🙂
That was hilarious! Thank you – and I hope that the line “shag as though I’m drilling for crude oil” is used again somewhere. 🙂
“thrust deep, thrust deep, thrust deep.” Made me laugh. The hubs wanted to know what I was laughing at. My response was, “oh nothing!” bahahahaha
jeaniene you just make me want to read Ilona Andrews so would see when i do i can wait
Now I will have to read chapter 32. I am curious. >:D
“Ask Curran to show you” LOL!!!
Oh my…::wipes tears from eyes & catches breath from laughing too hard:: that was FUN! Now I have to go read at the Alpha site! Thank you!
I loved! Funny and smart!
This was just what the doctor ordered, Can I get a F***ing Whisky Neat now!?
You guys keep this up and you might have to write a cross over one of these days.
Hahahahaha, I can’t seem to get enough of Bones! I can see that I’ll have to read Kate and Curran while waiting for One Grave at a Time at the end of August. Snorting tea at “so do I, it’s in my pants”–exactly!
Thanks for the giggles! I love the smack down!
Holy cow! That made my day. Thank you very much 🙂
HILARIOUS!!! I need to go re read chapter 32.
That was hilarious! thanks for that!!!
I love it when I see two women talking with senses of humor that are just as dirty and inappropriate as mine! This was so funny.
ROFL this was hilarious! 😛
Hahaha! oh my god that was too funny! Loved it!
I loved the laugh this gave me today, made my 49th birthday easier to “grin and bear”!
Hahaha Omg there should be a cross over novel or some or maybe not cause it wouldnt work but like if y’all worked together it would sell like gold.
I LOOOOVE all of the novels I’ve read so far…I just discovered Jeanienes novels lately and I AM HOOKED!!
What’s not to love? Sex vampires! Hot women….
Btwn the Night Huntress series and the World Books..hopefully I’ll have something to read in my hands for quite sometime
All I can say is
THANKS JEANIENE
Thanks for the laughs! I love both of your series. 🙂
I loved it 🙂 i have to say i love your books Jeaniene Frost they are fantastic
That was awesome… I love your books…
Just read this…so funny I love both of your books and love this play on the characters!
I love you both! you are hilarious and your heroes are too!
You ladies are too funny! I read this last year, but I hadn’t read the Kate series yet so I did not laugh as hard as I did today.
Looks like Bones will be taking on Kate or Curran in the final round this year – yikes, who will I choose then! I think it will have to be a draw : )
Hilarious!!
HAHAHAHAH I love this! I Love em both, but being a ‘hot blooded woman’, my vote is for Bones 🙂
The crude oil part… I lost it. xD Well done!